Crash World
by Mae-Gene
Summary: Hermione begins her sixth year when she recieves news that her family have been killed by Death Eaters. How will she cope without the ones she loves? But then she starts seeing and hearing strange things... Is she going mad? HGno-one in particular
1. If Only

**Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any of these characters- even though I wish I did! I only claim to own this plot- or lack there of :) **

**And before you start reading, please note that this is my first fic, and I am trying to stray from your usual plot. I haven't really considered if Hermione will go out with anyone in particular. In fact, I haven't really thought about what will actually happen much, but it will happen when it will. **

_**For info on how this chapter has been edited, see the end of this chapter. **_

Hermione sighed, as she sat down on the army green damp grass, and pulled her knees up to her chin. Pulling at her school robes, she covered her legs to shelter herself from the chilly wind that was blowing her way.

'Why me?'she thought, staring out across the school grounds, a single tear falling from her eye, her insides withering with desperation. The tear was now sliding silently smoothly down her cheek and it landed on the collar of her shirt.

The dark clouds loomed above her, making the impossibly dark night even darker.

If only she had never left to start the school year. If only she knew. If only she could save them…

A few moments went by as she gazed up at the sky. She could almost hear the soundless clock, ticking away at time. She gazed up at the heavens. Where they would be, no doubt. Reminiscing, recalling the pain they had endured before their deaths.

It would be nice to think that they died without pain. Without suffering.

But Hermione knew. They didn't. Death eaters weren't known for ending someone's life suddenly, without having what they probably referred to as a little 'play'. It wasn't play. Play was what you did when you were young, in the playground. Play was fun. How could they be as heartless as to find killing, and causing pain, "fun"?

She moaned, staring up at the sky once more. How could anyone be so cruel, so heartless?

Hermione could feel the tears welling in her eyes again. She willed herself not to cry. She blinked furiously, in an attempt to stop the flood of tears. She would not cry.

'I am strong' she thought. 'Who are you kidding, Granger?' a counter thought surfaced through her brain, ringing in her ears even though it wasn't spoken.

A sob escaped her lips. She started sobbing, against her will. It was like her brain hadn't registered it, but her heart; the stupid piece of muscle had, and was regaining full control of her body. 'I'm in Gryffindor, I'm brave…'

'I don't need to cry!' her inner voice thundered.

'Crying is for babies, crying is a sign of weakness…'

Thunder lit up the sky, startling her. When she realised what it was, she continued what she was doing before, against her rational brains will.

Sobbing.

'If only I was there.'

'If only you where there?' A voice rang in her head, teasing her. 'And what would you do, then?'

An interesting question it seemed. What would she have done?

She was barely able to duel last year at the Department of Mysteries. How could she go against, no doubt the same people, by herself?

She wasn't even conscious for most of the time.

Embarrassing, really.

Thunder lit up the sky for a second time.

What was the use of being the smartest, brightest girl of her year, if she could barely utter a spell against evil?

'You wouldn't have been able to do anything. They'd have killed you along with the rest of your family. Tortured, and then killed you.' Her know-it-all brain got annoying sometimes.

'Who knows? Maybe they would have given into your pleas, killed you and left your family to be?' The voice taunted her, made her feel stupid.

Lightning struck a tree, causing a long, ear splinting crash to ring in the silence of all mother natures' havoc.

Hermione ignored it.

'Of course they wouldn't have. They're all the same. The lot of them. Evil, scheming, non-soul having… things.'

'Probably not even human' she muttered, as tears flowed like a river down her face. She could taste the bitterness of tears in her mouth.

It was unnaturally silent.

Lightning lit up the sky, for a final time, before it started raining heavily.

Hermione clenched her fists. 'Why did they have to kill my family?'

The question sounded distorted in the patter of rain hitting the cold bricks of Hogwarts castle.

'They knew nothing about the war.'

More rain fell. She was soaked in a matter of minutes.

'They would have been confused, wondering why these people with wands that looked like mine were hurting them'.

Hermione felt unusually helpless. She never felt helpless. She was always the helpful one, who knew everything. Or was going to find the answer to the problems. She was never helpless.

And, despite the large number of inhabitants in the castle at the wall she was leaning against, Hermione never felt more alone in her life.

A place in her heart that was once filled with joy, happiness and laughter was replaced with sadness, filled with sorrow and loneliness.

No matter what happened, her family was always there to help her. They supported her, and her mother constantly gave her advice and leant a kind ear for her to talk to. When she felt her whole world was crashing down, like she was being suffocated with work during the school year. Like she was gong to fail, and get everything wrong, she would always rely on her father's inquisitive questions about the wizarding world, her mother's kind words of support, and her elder brother's jokes.

It was like she had cotton wrapped around her with them. Not suffocating cotton. Sweet, comforting cotton, that gave her warmth. Now the cotton was gone. It was cold, she was alone and no-one could ever give her back that cotton.

It was like fairy floss.

Hermione couldn't think about them any longer. 'Think about something else,' she desperately urged herself. But how could she not think about her family? The pain and suffering they had to go through just because she was and wanted to be part of a world that they weren't. A world, where at the moment, foundations were shaking and somewhere shattering. Everything she had known about this world, it greatness, all the magic and mystery were beginning to loose their appeal.

Why did she have to come here?

Why couldn't she have just declined the offer to attend Hogwarts, and think the letter was a joke?

If she hadn't come, her family would be still alive.

She was sobbing hysterically now, unable to control the hysterica that got a hold of her. Tears were flooding down her cheeks, but she was unable to tell the difference. What was rain, and what were her own, salty, tears?

It didn't matter any longer.

The only thing that mattered now was that they were dead, and it was her fault. Her fault for choosing this path, her fault for not being there to protect them.

It was her fault that they suffered, died in vain.

What use were their deaths?

Such a waste of life. Such a waste of beautiful, happy life, to cause another unhappy life. It was like dominoes. Knock over one, and you'll cause the others to collapse.

Hermione found it hard to breathe. She had all this air, and yet it was hard to breathe.

Someone had yanked her heart out, and thrust it on the floor.

But not only had they done that. Now they were stepping on it- stomping, more likely.

And her heart, this stupid muscle that enabled her to feel was still attached to her.

She found herself clenching her fists, grinding her teeth.

But all the grinding, clenching, sobbing, heart stomping could never bring her family back. She was still alone after all her body put her through. And it continued to do more.

Hermione never felt herself more alone in her life. Not when she got lost in supermarkets when she was younger. Not when she first came to Hogwarts and didn't know anyone. Not ever. Not even when she and Ron where fighting in Fourth year, and he wouldn't speak to her.

Never ever in her life.

The rain stopped.

But her tears didn't.

Hermione didn't know how long she sat there in the dark, shivering in the wind. All she could think about was how she caused their deaths, and it was her own fault. Her own selfish, fucking fault.

It felt odd to swear, Hermione pondered. She never swore. It was her conservative upbringing, her mother and father who brought her up to be a sensible girl. Thinking even more about them, their happy memories made Hermione want to cry more.

But she had run out of tears to cry. It was like squeezing a dried up sponge. She wanted to cry, but she didn't have anymore tears.

So she sat there, up against the wall all night, and when the sun rose, she was still awake.

Her body felt numb- she was shivering, but she didn't feel cold. Her face should have felt wet- but it didn't. She should have been tired- but she wasn't. Her mind was transfixed on one thing, and that one thing was how it was such a waste of life. How she would never hear her father's chuckles, her brother's witty, sarcastic remarks and her mother's kind, soothing voice.

She and her brother would never grow old together or move away from home. She would never badger him about girlfriends again- he would never get married. Her parents wouldn't grow older and wiser. They were frozen bits of time, not part of the present anymore. They would never to move forward in life. Her family was going to stay etched in her mind, memories of what seemed a distant past, yet so close to the present and they were never going to be seen again moving, alive in the flesh.

She was never going to be able to joke with her brother, or beat him at checkers. She would no longer watch documentaries on TV with her father. She couldn't bake cakes, cupcakes or scones with her mother again. They were all lost.

What seemed such trivial and insignificant activities she did with them would never happen again. She would never ever see them alive again.

When she thought that her tears had run dry, a never ending supply regenerated them, and she felt another tear slide down her face.

Hermione slowly felt the castle come back to life. But her parents would never come back to life. They were dead- going to sleep for eternity. Whilst everyone was going to die eventually, except for probably Lord Voldemort and Dumbledore, her parents, and especially her 17 year old brother died too early.

'They died too early, and left me here.'

The feeling in her body slowly came back. Birds started to chirp and you could hear the constant chatter, footsteps and buzz coming from the castle.

But Hermione didn't want to move. She wanted to stay there forever, watching time go by, just like her parents would up in heaven (if there was such a place). She should have been there, or she should have never come here.

'I wish I could turn back time' she thought to herself furiously.

'Ahh… but you could once, remember your third year?' a devious voice in her head responded.

'But look how that turned out! Harry and I could have killed ourselves!' The thought escaped from a place in her brain for the other voice to hear.

'My point exactly- you don't know what you might do!'

However logical this other voice sounded- it was a reasonable point, Hermione could not help but desperately wish she could turn back the hands of a clock, back to when she received her Hogwarts letter, and rip it up, and never speak of it again.

Then her parents would be alive, and brother would still be here, and I wouldn't be alone, she thought vainly.

Another salty tear found its way down her cheek.

Students started walking onto the grounds, on their morning walks and they gave her weird looks, as if questioning her. Do you have a good enough reason to be in the state you are? Their stares and questioning looks taunted her.

Some where, in the back of her mind, a thought surfaced. 'What if you're overreacting?'

'What do you mean, what if I'm overreacting? My parents just died, my brother is gone! If anything, I'm under reacting!' she retorted back.

_Under reacting… Under reacting…Under reacting_

The last word rang through her head, echoing, sending sharp pains through her temples.

What if she was under reacting?

Hermione wasn't sure. She'd never had anyone close to her die before. Not until now.

She didn't want to forget them. They were her bloody family.

So what if she _was_ under reacting?

Hermione felt like she was betraying them, not being able to cry anymore. Not throwing a hissy fit. Not yelling at the sky, cursing Lord Voldemort, stomping off to seek revenge. She felt like she was betraying them.

Should she yell at the sky for effect? That's what they always did in movies. But the actors didn't know what it was like. Should she run off and tell her friends? It wasn't exciting news.

What should she do?

'What should I do?'

Hermione focused on this question, not willing herself to think about them. But really, by thinking about this one question, she was reminded herself more and more about their deaths. They were her fault. She should have been there, to say sorry for these awful witches and wizards, to yell insults at the very people who hated her kind. To explain to her parents that she had been lying about the current state of the wizarding world.

But she wasn't. She wasn't there, and nothing could change that.

**Read and review! You know you want too… constructive criticism, or criticism that isn't even constructive is welcome too. **

**Note: This chapter has been edited. Please don't be confused if you read before this edit (before this note was here). Basically chapter 1 and 2 have been merged together, because having 2 chapters on Hermione being depressed was a bit too long. Chapter 2 was formally called 'Frozen Bits of Time' (quite liked that title… pity). **


	2. Say Nothing

**Nope, no luck in owning the Harry Potter books yet. Please? Begs J.K Rowling Even just Draco would be fine…. **

Hermione's brain suddenly sprang back to life. It then dawned on her that she should get going. She should do something to stop their stares, stop their questioning. Glancing at her wrist watch, she realised it had stopped, it was frozen, the second hand wasn't moving. Probably water logged or something from all the rain.

The time was frozen- It was never going to change. These thoughts reminded her of her family. Time was never going to move forward for her parents. Another tear slid down her cheek, this time glistening in the sun- not sliding down, unnoticed. This only attracted more curious stares from the other students.

Glaring at them, she haughtily marched off to the castle door, determined that she would not change her routine, the way she treated others or how they treated her.

Everything was to stay the same. She was going to act normal, like nothing had happened. Because of the forever growing situation in the magical world, it was not unusual for news of a muggle born's or even wizard family- if they had aurors in their family to die. Hermione did not need their pitying glances. She was going to push on, to continue with life. She was not going to breakdown, like so many other students had. She was going to learn from others, and perspire, continue on.

That's why she chose to do nothing. To say nothing to her friends.

She hurried back to her dormitory, careful not to draw attention to her appearance, which was very messy. She felt sticky, smelt of rain, her hair appeared to be frizzier than usual- it resembled a perm gone wrong, and she probably had large black rings under her eyes. Every step she took seemed like there were weights attached to her legs, dragging her down to the floor, which would not stable her feet. She looked at the ground, not catching anyone's eye, and hurriedly walked down the corridor.

There was in the shadows, as she turned around the corner, someone who noticed her state. Hermione didn't notice the tall, masculine figure standing behind a suit of armour, observing her, curious.

She hurried down the corridor and stopped in front of the Fat Lady's portrait.

'DA' she said in a low, barely audible voice.

'Daar-ling, as you wish!' the cheerful smile of the Fat Lady normally would cause Hermione to smile back, but not today. With her eyes cast downwards, quietly, in an attempt not to draw attention to herself, she crept up the stairs in the direction of the girls' dormitories.

Luckily everyone was at breakfast already or getting ready for what the new day would bring. Not stopping to glance at whether there were still other girls in the dormitory she shared, Hermione approached her bed and started drawing her curtains, so that she could gather her things for her shower, but stopped, when she heard a…..

**Such a short chapter… I don't know who the 'dark masculine figure is yet'. **

**Once again… REVIEW! It would be much appreciated :)**


	3. Waves of Sadness

**Hehe.. cackles evily I've been working on this chapter for a while, in between analysing articles for English and learning about sequences & series for maths… Here is chapter 3… Which was going to be chapter 4 before the whole merging of chapter 1(If Only) and chapter 2(Frozen Bits of Time) took place. Now they are both one big, long happy (but depressing) chapter, which is followed by a really short one. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, even though my heart yearns to. Nor do I own Draco. But one day, (or during maths class), I will marry Tom Felton, and we will have a beautiful wedding, and children, and we shall name them… okay. Fine, we won't get married then! You're just jealous! **

_Last chapter… _

_Luckily everyone was at breakfast already or getting ready for what the new day would bring. Not stopping to glance at whether there were still other girls in the dormitory she shared, Hermione approached her bed and started drawing her curtains, so that she could gather her things for her shower, but stopped, when she heard a…_

A deep thumping sound. She glanced around, trying to find the source of the noise. Hermione shrugged it off, thinking she was just tired and imagining things from lack of sleep. Rummaging through her oak chest of drawers, she began to gather her things. But then, she heard it again.

'Boom… boom…boom…boom'

It was a rhythmic sound, sort of like drums… Just like the time last summer when her next door neighbour decided learn how to play the drums. It drove her father crazy, because their next door neighbour, Neil would choose such inappropriate times to practice, especially in the middle of the night. Her dad would get up, clearly angry in his velvet robes and slippers that Hermione and her brother brought him for his 40th birthday and would then proceed to the Neil's house and bag on the door for a consistent amount of time, until he stopped. Sometimes he would stand there all night, because Neil couldn't hear him.

Thinking about her father was too hard. A wave of sadness washed over her. She would never see him again… Tears welled up in her eyes and she felt sick. Stupid death eaters… Stupid magical world… Her stomach felt like someone had punched it, and yanked it out. Her throat felt croaky and dry, and her attempts at keeping the tears at bay were unsuccessful.

The beating sounds got more rapid and faster. She blinked back the tears, startled.

Hermione could feel her body tensing up, her heart beating faster and faster with every beat.

Surely others girls in her dormitory could hear the sound? Then why wasn't anyone coming to investigate, to see what it was?

She peered out from behind her curtains. The dormitory was deserted.

The thumps got faster still; she could feel herself tensing up again. It was an odd feeling. Like she didn't have control of her body. Why was it tensing, why was her heart beating faster with the beats?

Multiple beats occurred, gaining speed and becoming more rapid.

Hermione could feel the earth rumbling.

It wasn't an earthquake… or was it?

Don't be silly, she told herself. Earthquakes don't occur at the same time as tribal drums. This had to be different. Something magical…

Her thoughts stopped when she could hear someone calling out her name…

'Hermione?'

Maybe it was just her mind, playing tricks on her again. She knew the drums weren't part of her imagination, because she felt unbalanced and the ground was shaking.

"Hermione!" who ever or whatever was calling her, raised their voice.

She told her brain to be quiet, she didn't want to go insane and start hearing voices. That was the last thing she needed now.

"Hermione! Are you here?' it was Ginny.

The thumping came to an absolute halt. She was no longer tensing up, the ground wasn't moving and her heart had stopped beating rapidly.

"I know you're here…You didn't show up for breakfast, and you're usually the first one there. I also checked the library…"

Hermione didn't answer. Or rather, couldn't. She couldn't believe what she had just experienced, and Ginny was acting like nothing had happened.

"You can come out if you're having a bad hair day, you know? We don't care…" Ginny teased, as she pulled back her curtains.

Ginny pulled the curtains back completely, revealing Hermione who was staring at the wall, clearly in shock.

"Hermione? Are you alright?"

Hermione didn't answer.

A billion thoughts were running through her mind.

'Am I going insane?'

'Don't be silly. You were sane a while ago…'

'But how do you know I was sane?'

'You don't… this is the first sign, talking to yourself'

'It's just lack of sleep. I'm just really, really tired,' she told herself.

'Hermione?' Ginny said, waving her arms in front of her friends face.

'Anyone home?'

'Sorry Ginny,' Hermione forced out for her friends sake, with a strained smile.

'So where were you at breakfast?' Ginny asked, unsuspectingly, making herself at home on Hermione's bed.

She paused for a moment, unsure whether to continue.

'Harry and Ron were worried too; you're always the first one there in the morning at the table you know, so we found it odd that you weren't there…'

Hermione, distracted already looked back out behind her curtains, still curious to why Ginny couldn't hear the beat sounds that occurred so unmistakably just moments before.

'Dumbledore made an announcement too, it was something about relations with other schools, and it was a pity you weren't there, because Ron and Harry could have used some explanations from someone who wasn't stuffing their face like the food was going to disappear…'

Maybe she was going insane, Hermione decided. It was just like how Harry was hearing voices in second year, except he had a reasonable explanation- he was a parseltongue. She had no reasonable explanation for feeling the ground rumble and tribal drums. Her family wasn't magic. Or, should she say they weren't when they were alive…

'Hermione? Are you listening?'

Hermione's head snapped back to her friend sitting on the bed. She forced a smile and a nod for her friend's sake. She knew Ginny would worry if she thought there was something wrong with her.

'Well, you look a wreak,' Ginny finished off.

'Just feeling a bit tired.'

She struggled to think of an excuse that would be plausible.

'I stayed up last night studying, and lost track of time… Err, before I knew it, it was morning, and the sun was rising…' she explained, her voice wavering slightly.

Hermione waited, anxious to hear her sentence. Would Ginny believe her?

'Hermione, you should really take it easy. No more late night studying okay? We're going to get you fixed up before class; you look like you had a wild night … with the books'

Hermione felt as if a whole load had been lifted off her shoulders. Ginny brought it. Hopefully she wouldn't ask anymore questions.

Ginny guided her to the bathroom, and went back to Hermione's dormitory to pick out an outfit. Which Hermione thought was pointless, seeing as she was required to wear uniform anyway, and all her uniform looked basically the same.

Turning the shower taps, Hermione sighed, as the warm water washed over her. She massaged her shampoo into her hair, the chemical smells wafting in the steam.

Moments later, she reluctantly turned off the taps and stepped out of the shower.

Her hair was mattered together in its usual clumps of frizzyness, and it was wet with beads of water. She sighed. She would never get used to having such ugly hair.

Maybe it was time to change?

Probably not. She often thought of it when she had time to spare from her studies, but she never acted upon the idea. So why start now?

Wrapping her bath robe around her, and the mess of what was supposedly her hair into a spare towel, she tottered out of the bathroom.

She was greeted with Ginny's cheerful smile.

'Wow! Where did you get this from?', Ginny said enthused, waving an Egyptian ornament in her face.

Hermione took the object from Ginny and inspected it. She hadn't seen it in a while. It still glistened in the sun, the way it did when she first got it. It still gave her a feeling of complete control, power when she held it.

'Your brother gave this to me as a present after you went to Egypt to visit Bill. I forgot I even had it…' Hermione replied, trailing off.

It was true. She had forgotten she had it. Holding it in her palms again, she couldn't help but feel like everything was going to be alright. It was a weird feeling. Why did this object from Egypt give her such a feeling?

"_Hey! Hermione!" Ron yelled from across Diagon Alley. _

"_Hello Ron! What a pleasant surprise" Hermione said, walking across the Alley. _

_After a brief, friendly embrace, Hermione could not help but enquire about their holiday to Egypt. _

"_How was Egypt?" _

"_It was really cool and stuff. Bill took us around all the tombs and you wouldn't believe the curses those old Egyptian wizards put on them!" Ron replied. _

"_Sounds fascinating. I've done some reading up on Egypt whilst I was in France, and it's amazing how the Egyptian wizards were so advanced! Did you know that they discovered…" _

_Ron interrupted Hermione, "Sorry, I don't need a history lesson thanks, having Percy there on the trip was enough. He wouldn't stop going on about his bloody Head Boy badge!" _

_Hermione flushed red, embarrassed. _

"_Anyways, come with me, I've got something to give you. We're staying at the Leaky Cauldron." _

_Hermione followed Ron, curious. What was he possible going to give her? _

"_Here" he said when they got to his room which she shared with Percy. _

_Hermione examined the object. _

"_Horus' Eye carved in what's supposed to be blue agate. I don't know if it's supposed to mean anything or anything like that, but Bill said it probably isn't even real blue agate" _

"_Wow, thanks Ron… You didn't have to get me a present." _

"_That's okay. Mum made me get it anyway." _

"Hermione?" Ginny asked, concerned.

"Oh sorry… just remembering to when your brother gave it to me."

"So, what is it?"

"Horus' Eye carved in what Ron said is supposed to be but probably isn't blue agate."

The eye looked just as it did the day Ron gave it to her.

The delicate blue stone glittered in the light; it had a magical sparkle about it. The eye stared back at her, powerfully as if it could see right through her.

"Um… Who is Horus?" Ginny asked hesitantly.

"Didn't you learn anything whilst you were in Egypt?" Hermione asked, teasingly.

"Horus was son of Isis and Osiris and god of the sky and protector of the reigning Pharaoh. He was also called the lord of heaven and was often pictured with the head of a falcon. The name Horus meant 'He who is far above'. Horus is also often pictured with an ankh, which is the symbol of life. The holder of an ankh had the power to give life or take it away. Only pharaohs and gods were permitted to carry them."

"Wow… it looks cool. My brother for once gave a good present!"

Hermione inwardly agreed, and continued to be enchanted by the present she'd forgotten about.

"Anyway, heres the outfit I picked out for you" Ginny said, handing Hermione her uniform.

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "What is so different about this set of uniform, compared to all my others?"

"It just looked better," Ginny replied shrugging.

"But they all look the same!"

Ginny shrugged again, this time without saying anything.

"If you say it looks better, then so be it," Hermione said whilst turning her heel, heading back to the bathroom.

She didn't realise she was still holding blue agate object until she had locked the door in the bathroom behind her. Shrugging and not bothering to take it back to her section of the dormitory and then coming back, she set the enchanting object next to the sink.

Unwrapping the towel from around her head, something caught her eye in the mirror. It was glowing… The gemstone was glowing!

"What the hell…" she muttered under her breath, scooping up the object.

The bright yellow light surrounding the object was growing.

Hermione's eyes widened in shock. She checked the mirror reflection to make sure she wasn't imagining things. The glow was reflected.

'I think I'm going insane'

'You're not going insane!'

'First the strange tribal drum sounds, and now I'm seeing things!'

Hermione closed her eyes, and opened them again. Yup, the glow emitting from Horus' Eye was still there…

"HERMIONE!" Sounded a voice, loudly, echoing throughout the bathroom and startling her.

She dropped Horus' Eye.

It all happened in slow motion. A blue blur, crashing, slowly towards the floor, and shards of the gem bouncing off the white tiles.

She gasped in shock. She had dropped it.

"Hermione! HURRAY UP!" Lavenders voice floated through the door, piercing her ears and causing her to wince.

Hermione hurriedly picked up the broken pieces of the once beautiful object and stuffed them into her towel.

"Hold on for a sec, Lavender!" She yelled back.

Quickly stripping herself of her clothes, she got changed into her uniform. She gathered her bath robe and the towel with the broken bits of blue agate in it and quickly unlocked the door.

"Jeez, what were you doing in there, Hermione?" Lavender glared at her.

Hermione could only shrug. And for the second time that morning, and wave of sadness washed over her.

It was only a stupid cheap rock, she told herself.

**Okay… I don't know if Blue Agate can actually break… But for the sake of it, it can now! Read and review… The blue button at the bottom left hand corner is begging you. You know you want to! Any advice is welcome… **


	4. Potions Class

**Disclaimer: No, still don't own Harry Potter… It's still the property of a wonderful woman called Joanne Kathleen Rowling. **

**Chapter 4: Potions Class **

Rushing to the dungeons, Hermione could not help but feel ashamed for being late. She was never late to class, and most of all, she was never late for potions class.

Reaching the door, she took a second to gasp for breath, and then stretched out her trembling arm to grasp the dirty brass door handle.

"As most of you seem incompetent and unable to work by yourselves, even though working by yourself is a requirement starting this year, in today's lesson you will be working with a partner. Partly because most of you are clearly half-witted-" Professor Snape stopped mid sentence after he realised Hermione was standing at the door.

He glared at her and said "Are you planing on standing there all lesson?"

"I…I'm…"

"Well, sit down Granger, just because you are unable to process a simple instruction does not give you permission to hold up the class".

Draco Malfory sniggered.

Hermione hurriedly walked towards the seat Harry had saved for her, and tried to avoid the questioning looks her friends were shooting her.

"And that will be five points from Gryffindor for holding up the class" Snape said gladly, for docking off any points from houses other than his own was his favourite past time.

And now Malfoy smirked.

Hermione could feel her blood boiling. He was such a stupid, stuck up, prat. And his father, whom he was a splitting image of, was probably involved in her family's death. She wanted to walk across the room and punch him straight in the face, causing him harm, causing him pain for all her suffering and her family's.

'Bothersome git', she thought.

Remembering this was no time to be thinking murderous thoughts towards the son of the Death Eater who most likely killed her family, she quickly pulled out a roll of parchment and quill and began taking down notes.

"As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, because most of you are clearly half witted," Snape glared briefly in Harry and Ron's direction where Ron was asleep on the table, and Harry was absentmindedly doodling on his parchment, before addressing the rest of the class.

"And also because the Headmaster has come up with yet another inter-house bonding scheme," Snape began to walk towards their desk.

"In today's lesson," he said whilst coming even closer. Hermione tried to warn Harry by kicking him, but he just looked up, confused and resumed drawing what resembled a cartoon of Professor Snape getting electrocuted.

"You will be working with a member of another house."

Harry smiled, happily, reminding Hermione of a toddler drawing, as he began perfecting his work of art.

"Although I am mystified to why some of you are still in my class when, clearly last year you were not up to standard, I will trust that you work well-"

Snape was hovering dangerously above Ron.

"- AND NOT WAVE YOUR WANDS FOOLISHLY AROUND!" Snape yelled, his spit flying everywhere.

At the same time, Harry (who had horrible timing) had decided to show Ron his work of art and shoved it in his face. But by doing so, had shoved it right in front of Snape, whose spit was flying over them both.

Ron awoke, startled, his face covered in spit and drool seeping out from the side of his mouth.

Harry horrified that he was now holding the work of art he had been working on since last year at Snape, could not move. Once you shoved a piece parchment in Professor Snape's face, you could not take it away.

"Thankyou for deciding to finally join us, Weasel."

Ron withered under the professor's murderous gaze. Droplets of Snape's spit were dripping off his flaming red hair.

"And what is this?" Snape asked, sarcasm oozing from every word.

"Err… Nothing professor!" Harry quickly said, attempting to hide the parchment. He was unsuccessful, as Snape had snatched it from Harry's grasp and was now examining what had taken months of Divination lessons.

Snape's mouth was twisted in a nasty smile. "Planning to be an artist, are we now, Potter?" he snarled at the black haired boy, whose emerald green eyes were wide at the amount of spit raining on him. Thank goodness I wear glasses, he thought.

Hermione at the same time thanked the gods that Harry had not begun writing speech bubbles yet, or Snape would know who it was.

He thrust the parchment in Harry's face and marched back to the front of the classroom, his every movement watched by the class as they wondered what Harry and Ron's punishment would be.

"Since some of you are clearly incapable of being mature, I will choose your partners for you."

The class glared at Harry and Ron. Harry was staring at the ceiling, pretending he had done nothing wrong, and Ron still looked half asleep, as his eyes came dangerously close to closing again.

"Potter, Weasly, detention, one week!" Professor Snape barked out.

"Now... Where was I before I was rudely interrupted again? … Ah, we will be starting Phisoligious potion today, which is strongly associated with fortune telling. It is of course, not anything like the mumbo jumbo some of you learn in Divination. Copy down the instructions on the board and then turn to page58 in your text book"

It was only the second day of school, and Hermione had managed to get five points knocked off her house. This never happens, she thought as she copied down the instructions on the board. Today is just not my day… In fact, it won't be for a while, she thought, still brooding over the thought of no longer having a family.

"Pavati…Crabbe"

"Zambini … Weasley"

"Blunstone… Potter"

"Longbottom…. Goyle"

"Granger…. Parkinson"

Hermione winced at who she was paired with. Pansy glared at her.

"Lavender… Malfoy"

Hermione snorted inwardly. Lavender would be glad with that. And she was. Lavender happily got up and sat next to the Ferret boy, who looked at her like she was a disgusting parasite that had just told him that he had to kiss her in order to pass potions.

After Snape had handed out the rest of the pairings, Hermione grabbed her book and sat herself down next to Pansy, who looked disgusted by the thought of Hermione sitting next to her.

"Granger," Pansy said to her. Hermione glanced at the plastic looking, air headed girl.

"You don't want to do this more than I do, but we have to work together. If we actually did literally work together, I would naturally end up doing all work, being the smarter one. So you'd better do it and maybe the mudblood in you might learn something" Pansy said, very full of herself.

Hermione raised an eyebrow. Who did this girl think she was? There was no absolute logic in what she just said. Hermione was surprised Pansy even knew the meaning of 'literally'. Oh well, Hermione thought. I'd better do it in case she drops her lip gloss in the potion and it blows up. Then she'll blame it all on me, that I didn't warn her dropping a lip gloss into potion was harmful.

Hermione hastily, but carefully measured her ingredients.

'One gram dragon scales,' she muttered.

'Two cups ferrets blood, a teaspoon of fairy glitter….'

'Five strands unicorn hair'

'Eight millilitres dragon's blood'

'One flobber worm….'

Whilst Hermione had begun mixing the ingredients in the cauldron, Pansy was busy applying make-up. Why anyone would need to wear make-up in a potions class was beyond Hermione, but she just ignored Pansy and continued making the potion.

As the potion was not difficult to make, Hermione completed it in no time. She began answering the questions Snape had written on the board. Pansy was still applying make-up. Hermione sighed, and rolled her eyes.

She studied her fellow classmates, wondering what they were doing. Was anyone else keeping a secret from the rest of the world?

'Don't be silly,' she told herself

'Everyone keeps secrets'

'You're probably just wondering if anyone else has a worse secret than you, a sadder one… i.e. has anyone else had their parents die lately?'

Hermione scanned the room. Pavati and Crabbe were clearly not getting along well. Crabbe kept on trying to look down her shirt, and Pavati kept on shooting death glares, as if that would help. But what else could she do?

Ron and Blaise seemed the only pair who were actually working well together. Both their brows were knitted in concentration, and they were actually working as a team. Hermione forced a painful smile, it contradicted everything she was feeling right now, but she had to feel happy for Ron, because for once in potions, he was actually paying attention.

Harry and Millicent looked like they were having an argument of some sort. And from what she could see, it looked like it was over ingredients. Millicent looked ready to pour the ferrets blood on Harry, and he looked as if he were about to blind her with fairy glitter. That pair looked as if they were fighting a war.

Lavender looked like she was about to faint from sitting so close to the ferret boy, and Malfoy's mouth was upturned at the ferrets blood ingredient. Someone had chosen to curse him today, of all days.

Neville and Goyle seemed to be struggling. Goyle was dumbly clanging the mixing spoons together, fascinated with the sound they made. Neville was looking confusingly at the potion he had stirred up in the cauldron, which was frothing and bubbling dangerously. He glanced back at the board. What had he done wrong? It was supposed to be blue…

"Now… some of you I can see are incapable of brewing up one of the simplest potions, and as punishment, you are to test them. Does anyone know how to test the Phisoligious potion?"

Hermione's hand shot up. 'Oh… please pick me… I know the answer!' Hermione thought furiously to herself. She didn't know what it was, but every time a teacher asked a question, she just felt her arms tingling, and her hand just automatically shot up by itself. She didn't ask her arm to move, it just _did_. Her arm would always reach the highest it could, wanting to grab the teacher's attention. Normally teachers would oblige. But not Professor Snape. He would look around the dungeon, ignoring her, his eyes passing straight through her.

"Anyone? Anyone other than Granger?" Professor Snape asked the class.

"No one? Alright then…To test the Phisoligious potion, you place a strand of your hair into it. A projection of your possible future will then holograph above the potion."

"Hmmm…. Whom should I pick? Longbottom and Goyle…"

Neville's head shot up like a startled deer, droplets of sweat ran down his forehead. He clearly wasn't ready for this. He gulped, and then placed a strand of his hair in his cauldron.

His potion frothed and bubbled even more, at the intrusion of a piece of hair. Nothing happened for a second, the potion if anything was simmering down….

Then, suddenly, the red liquid shot out of the cauldron, over flowing. The red acidic solution flowed over the sides of the shiny black cauldron, seeping all over the floor, and onto Neville.

Professor Snape sneered.

"You are obviously incapable of brewing the most simplest of potions, Longbottom."

"20 points from Gryffindor for your stupidity, and ruining Goyle's potion."

The Gryffindor students gapped at him. The Slytherin students smiled, most of their faces were twisted in mad, evil grins.

Malfoy seemed to have doubled over in laughter at the sight of Neville, covered in what appeared blood. He managed to choke out "If you continue stuffing up potions Longbottom, you'll end up in St. Mungo's- just like your parents!"

Hermione could not believe he would even dare bring up something as sensitive as that. It was proof that Malfoy really didn't have a heart; he was as cruel as he made out to be. She opened her mouth to give Malfoy a piece of her mind, for she knew what it must be like for Neville, when Harry got up strolled across the room, his shoes echoing across the dungeons. His cheeks were red and blotchy; Harry knew what it was like too. He was about to take a swing at the pale, albino-like Slytherin boy, when Snape thundered "Move that arm any further, and you will find yourself expelled before you know it Potter"

The class was silent; exclaims of outrage to what Malfoy had said could no longer be heard. The whole class- both Slytherin and Gryffindor were awaiting Harry's verdict. Harry's arm seemed to be trembling slightly. He didn't want to get anymore detentions; he had Quidditch practice to attend!

"Take a seat Potter"

Harry sat down, relieved but also slightly disappointed that he could not make Malfoy pay for what he had said to Neville.

Neville seemed to be in shock, his fists were clenched in anger, his nails digging into his palms. Neville it seemed had wanted to smash Malfoy's face in as much as Harry did.

"Everyone bottle your potions, and bring them up here to me. For homework, you will write a 3 foot essay on the history of the Phisoligious potion"

The students of Gryffindor breathed a sigh of relief, for their most popular student, their star Quidditch player was not going to serve another week of detention.

"Class dismissed", Snape drawled.

Hermione went back to where she was sitting at the beginning of the lesson and began gathering her things. Outside the classroom, she met Harry and Ron.

"I can't believe how cruel Malfoy is," Harry muttered to them, his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah…" agreed Hermione, unsure of how much more she should say, in case she got overly emotional over the death of her family.

"I have never been covered in so much spit in my entire life!" announced Ron, who was clearly out of it.

Hermione glared at him.

"I though Snape was going to take away my work of art!" Harry proclaimed in response, noticeably no longer wanting to discuss the Malfoy/Neville event.

"Well, you're lucky that you hadn't started writing speech bubbles, or you would have gotten into trouble" Hermione said in response.

"Hey, why didn't you warn me that Snape was coming, Hermione?" Harry asked accusingly, as if it was her fault that he got a week's detention.

Hermione sighed. "I did try and warn you! I kicked you, and you just continued drawing!"

"Oh…" was the response she got.

They continued walking in a comfortable silence.

"Oh yeah," said Ron, suddenly remembering, "Why were you late to Potions?"

"I err… Got a late start. Rough night with the books"

"Jeez Hermione… Take a break once in a while! Smell the air, live life!" said Ron.

"I will live life when I want to!" Hermione snapped back.

"And when is that?" Ron threatened.

"You won't be so glad that you were 'living life' when you fail your exams!" and with that, she stormed off.

"I honestly don't know what's gotten into her lately" Ron said, running his hands through his hair.

"Yeah…" agreed Harry.

"First she doesn't show up to breakfast, and then she's late to potions… and now this!"

"Probably just girl stuff", offered Harry.

"Yeah…" agreed Ron.

Hermione stalked off to an unknown section of the library, where not many students roamed to. She sat herself down huffily.

Ron, honestly! The likes of him… He's got his own future ahead of him, and he chooses to sleep on potions class. And Harry too! Drawing that stupid picture…

Hermione fumed.

Suddenly, a thought entered her mind.

'Shouldn't you tell them…?'

'Tell them what?'

'Of your current situation… That you're parentless?'

'And why would I do that? They won't understand… Ron's got so many brothers and sisters for heaven sake!'

'Well, what about Harry?'

'What about Harry?'

'Harry would understand. He's been without family for most of his life'

'Be quiet. I don't need their pity'

Argh… she was talking to herself again.

'This is the first sign of insanity…'

Shut up, she told the voice.

And with that, Hermione began to use her spare period usefully by starting her Potion's essay.

Immersing herself in work always distracted her from what was really going on in life. Whilst working, she was able to ignore her feelings and that deep sad feeling in the pit of her stomach. It was threatening to surface anytime soon, and push her to the brink of tears.

**Argh… I am so tempted to make it Hermione/Draco! But alas, it will never be. **

**Please Read and Review! **


	5. Waterfall Tears

Disclaimer:

Mae-Gene: Oh, so wonderful Ms Rowling, would you ever be so kind, so generous to as give me Harry Potter? With your beautiful writing skills, your words filled with such grace, description and talent?

Ms Rowling: No

* * *

The rest of the school day was uneventful. Hermione walked from class to class, taking notes, listening attentively. She felt like a human robot, blocking out her feelings and emotions.

Walking, dragging her feet was even an effort. She trudged up the stairs to the girls' dormitory, careful not to draw too much attention to herself. She of course, had not had sleep for 48 hours, and Lavender and Pavati gossiping was not what she needed right now. Nor did she need questions from her friends to as why she did not show up for lunch, and why she was not heading to the Great Hall for dinner.

She just did not feel like it.

Everything that mattered before didn't seem to matter as much anymore. Trivial things, like eating, how she looked, what others thought of her. It didn't matter. Nothing much else mattered.

She didn't even care much for her studies. But she knew she had to care for them, she had to put effort into them.

For now, she had no one. No one was there to catch her, should she fail. No one to care for her, if she had no where else to go. No one. She was alone.

Sure, Harry was alone too. But he had Remus, and the Weasleys. Ron had his whole family. And it wasn't that Hermione didn't have the Weasleys. It was just that they weren't close, Ron and her, like he and Harry were. They were nice people, but they just weren't family.

Harry had grown up without a proper family; he still did have the Dursleys, should he fail in the wizarding world. But Hermione had no one. Both her parents were only children, and her grandparents were long dead. Not even some long lost, distant relative to show up and take her in.

Hermione dumped her bag on the ground, drew her hangings around her bed and fell into her bed, not bothering to pull the covers around her or to change, and fell into a deep slumber.

"_Matt! Matt! Let's play hide and seek!" a young nine year old Hermione called out to her brother. _

"_Okay, I'll hide, and you can count" Matt replied. _

"_One…Two…Three…Four…Five…Six…Seven…Eight…Nine…TEN! READY OR NOT, HERE I COME!" _

_Hermione looked behind the nearest tree and frowned. Where would Matty hide? _

'_Let's see… I'll choose a pathway!' she thought to herself, pondering. And she chose the middle one. _

_Soon the sun was beginning to set, and large murderous looking trees loomed above the small girl. A botanic garden was not the place to be in the dark. _

_She searched behind bushes, scrubs and in fallen logs, choosing different pathways, not bothering to remember which way she had come from. _

_Soon enough, it was pitch black. Fear gripped her like a cold hand suffocating her, she couldn't breathe. _

"_Matty!" Hermione's voice wavered, as tears came pouring down her cheeks. _

_She stumbled in the dark, her arms in front of her, careful not to walk into anything. _

_Unsuccessful, after tripping over sticks and walking into various fallen logs, Hermione sat down, defeated. _

_She wailed even louder. _

"_Mum? Dad?" _

"_Matt?" _

"_Please help me, someone!" _

"_I'm alone… Mum! Dad! Matt!" _

_Hermione wept even louder, her tears running down her cheeks like a waterfall. _

Sixteen year old Hermione Granger woke up with a start. Beads of sweat were dripping down her forehead and there were tears in her eyes.

"Hermione? Are you alright?" Pavati's voice brought Hermione back to reality; she was at Hogwarts, in her dormitory.

She had been crying in her sleep.

"Uh huh"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it was just a bad dream. Sorry to wake you Pavati"

"It's alright"

Then silence.

Hermione sat back against the frame of her bed; hair matted, frizzy and sticking to the back of her head.

She wiped her tears from her eyes, but whatever she did, how much wiping and dabbing she did, she could not stop crying. Silent tears ran down her face, uncontrollably.

They were never going to come back.

* * *

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pulls out pitchfork

chants

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